welcome, my friends
(29, he/him)

devilishdescent:

devilishdescent:

devilishdescent:

adderess:

image
image
image

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING DOG

earthworm

fetal homunculus.

God’s favorite skin tag

himbofisher:

image

sumrot:

image
image
image
image
image

i…

evilwizard:

pretty cool how you went on a heroic journey to gain the power needed to defeat me. unfortunately i was on a cooler, villainous journey

charaah:

ghostsgerard:

ghostsgerard:

will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like “86 cherries” on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went “why the fuck does this guy want 86 fucking cherries” and like piled them onto his milkshake

so when i made this i didn’t expect ANY notes so i feel like an asshole now for not explaining. so incase you check the notes, 86 in restaurant terms means “unavailable or out of stock” but has kinda morphed into “omit” or “leave out”. but none of us had worked in a restaurant before, also why would you not just say “no cherries” it’s the same amount of characters to type

Man ordering food: I work in the restaurant business ;)

Children working at restaurant: this guy must really like cherries. Got something in your eye there sir

independent-thot-blog:

micro-usb-deactivated20230625:

image
(Post debate, Anderson Cooper in a diner in Florida)  Cooper: thoughts?  Man in battleship hat: blue is a democrat color. Desantis went woke  Man in cowboy hat: nonsense. blue M&M's are police!  Lady in Q shirt: (hits Cooper with a salt shaker trying to prove he's a hologram)ALT

I’m sorry but I didn’t see any reblogs with the follow-up and it’s SO good

lipid:

mothtowers:

gay people have access to a secret low res version of spongebob where every scene is him going through it or dead completely naked

image

thebigbiwolf:

the-frog-in-the-bog:

“I want to decompose in a bog” well you clearly don’t know the first thing about bogs. Clout chaser

image

Huge fan of the phrase “get pickled, idiot”

dailyraccoons:

tiktoks-repost:

yes king, kill that hydrant

the-punforgiven:

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like “By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!” And then just getting into his car and driving off

osabishi-yama:

is it ok if i go play for the rest of my life

manywinged:

squidy-y2k:

manywinged:

manywinged:

one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

and yes, they both smoke weed

and which one told you that?

image
bentclaw :  

It's interesting Kofu likes rice, I offered a bite of rice to my cat once and he acted like I was trying to poison him.

straycatj:

I think most small cats don’t eat rice…my apprentice is just strange and stupid, that’s all, I suppose…

ganondorf:

metamelonisle:

metamelonisle:

image

ii was trying to season reheated mcdonalds fries i took the cap off for some reason without realizing it and i

image
image
image

I’M NOT CURSED BY A PHARAOH!! I’M NOT!!!!!

 12345 »
LANTERN